Jim Colquhoun

ARTIST COPULATES WITH GULL

"Glasgow-based artist Jim Colquhoun has been revealed as a practitioner of bestiality. His actions have been caught on CCTV and Aberdeen City Councils webcam on at least three occasions. The same gull seems to have been involved in all of the alleged acts. Detective Inspector Ian Peebles of the Aberdeen Constabulary commented on the case earlier today: 'This man has been camping on the roof of the Citadel for some days now. He claims to be an artist but has been filmed naked with an immature Herring Gull on several occasions. The gull seems to be a willing participant in the acts, which have some kind of ritual aspect. The case has been sent to the Procurator Fiscal for further deliberation and a psychiatric report is being compiled.' Colquhoun's only comment was to say that his 'practice' had dictated his actions. He went on to say: "I reject any notion of a socially constructed bourgeois centred subject and make these demands:

  1. Abolition of the monarchy and all ordered government
  2. Abolition of private property
  3. Abolition of inheritance
  4. Abolition of patriotism
  5. Abolition of the family, through the abolition of marriage, all morality and the institution of the communal education of children."

Local SNP MSP Stuart Fittee said he was 'disgusted and sickened' by the actions of this artist. He said: 'I will be conducting a full investigation into the circumstances of this case. That this kind of depraved behaviour is actually funded by the Scottish Arts Council is beyond belief.'

No one at the SAC was available for comment yesterday."

Aberdeen Press & Journal, June 20th 2005